Cupid Has Jokes
I got hit on by two different men within five minutes, sounds hot right…well cupid has jokes. Let me break this down:
It’s a rainy day in NYC. I was hungry as hell, so I went to forage for food.
As I stood on the corner waiting for the light to change, walking toward me was a black guy who smiled in my direction. I acknowledged his smile so as he passes me he taps his umbrella on mine. I thought it was a cute gesture. Men in NYC tend to flirt whenever they can.
As I slowly walk across the street, the umbrella dude pops up on my left and says “you said you was married…”. After I take a good look at him, I quickly respond, “yes”. Something had oh hell no written all over him. I always hate lying about my relationship status, but it’s the “best explanation” for not being interested. I also look at it as wink and nod to the universe to act “as if” I have a hot sexy man waiting for me at home.
After safely making it across the street I see the neighborhood fruit stand guy. I don’t know his name, but we speak from time to time. I give him a smile and he says “hello”. At that moment, I think he’s not a bad looking guy. He was probably real delicious when he was younger.
I saunter my way into the local wine shop. As I browse the wines, I look up and see the Mr. Fruit Stand. I laughed because what a coincidence that we bumped into each other again. I keep on looking at the French wines, then out of nowhere the fruit stand mofo pops up beside me. I’m thinking, really? He comes over and tries to hug and wish me happy holidays. This is when my slow ass realizes whats going on. He looks down at me then tries to kiss me..on my lips. Oh hell to the no. As I back up, homeboy asks me if I want to go get coffee. I start backing away as I say that he probably has a lot of girlfriends. Turns out he kind of does, but only to a certain point since he’s married. Not only do I find out that he is 63 years old, his back works fine and he likes to take women out for coffee, lunch, or dinner. Meanwhile, thanks for letting me know that I’m only worth coffee. I send Mr. Fruit Stand on his way, he probably went to find another woman for the day. As he walks away I can’t help but think that to have a serious chat with cupid.
This is just another damn day of mating and dating in New York City. Very funny cupid, I see how you roll. What I know for sure is that love is at the top of my list for 2017. I’m looking for a partner in crime to come on my life adventures with me. I know his ass is out there, maybe he’s trapped under something heavy? Let love lead the way.